Well, tonight around 5 starts that “Final” countdown where there will be less than 30 days left. I had planned to make this post all dramatic and heartfelt, but I think I have done enough of that recently. I need to save some emotions and tears for the end (nervous laugh). I have accepted my fate, but I don’t want it to sound like I’m embracing death and actively giving up and whatnot, no not at all. I will make sure the last month will be as memorable as the first three. Speaking of the first three there are only ten days left on campus so most of the conversations I had been having with people is reminiscing about the time we have had here and about things we will miss. The list goes as follows:
Cheap transportation/A transportation system
The lack of English spoken here
No taxes or tips
The feel of convenience
This one is the most important to most of us, and it’s exactly what the international advisor said. By the time you leave, it’s when you feel the most comfortable within your new culture. I remember the second week I was here I was so proud of myself for being able to walk off campus alone and go to a coffee shop to order for myself and comeback. Now I ride the subways alone relatively no problems. Open the app set the route, listen to music and wait for my stop. It’s a massive change we/I no longer have those fears or inexperience about venturing around Seoul. I have gotten lost multiple times, but as long as I got my landmarks or phone, I have gotten back. I wouldn’t be able to write this if not.
And other stuff. While talking too these people I have connected with. Most of them are leaving Seoul but not to go home just yet. Many are going other places like Japan or Spain or just leaving Seoul. With that knowledge, I realized those last three weeks it would mostly be Hy and me. Which is great, fantastic and I have no problem with that. Although I too will miss all the other people, I hung out with. I was talking to a friend BB last week about this scenario and stating what made Korea so amazing was experiencing with these group of people. Most who didn’t know Korea either so it was that “Mutually Assured Destruction.” M.A.D was a phrase I said last year at my abroad orientation. We had this activity to do where we broke into groups and were given a deck of cards and a set of rules and 5-10 minutes to get the rules down before they were taken from us. The kicker was once the activity started there was no more talking, so you ran through the game with people who know the rules and the ten minutes later had to move to another group and play with other people. The secret is every group got a different set of rules for the card game, so everyone now was playing it differently. The thing to get from this is that you are going to have to learn how to adapt without spoken word. You are no longer playing by your house rules and may not be able to explain things either. Although we had changed groups so much we were just so jumbled up at this point, no one knew how to play the card game anymore, so we just messed around. That’s when I realized That we are all going down on this sinking ship so its Destruction for us all. That is how I felt when I got here was no one else knew how to function here, so we were all learning together which strengthen our bonds. So “when” I comeback some or none of the people I knew will be here. That in itself means the whole experience will change, and what about Hy will she change? And change, change, change and at this point it these types of conversations, my mind has spiraled out. I too have also had this conversation with Hy about me coming back and my fears and worries. She’s told me that I think too much, and I agree. There’s nothing wrong with “Change”. It just means you get to have a brand new experience but with the knowledge from the first time you were here. I could become the “Big Brother” to new foreigners. Speaking of “Change” another friend CL had mentioned that it might be some form of therapeutic to see all the people I know who are leaving before me, ride to the airport with them and be there to send them off. It might help ease the pain the day I have to go and leave Hy. To know that there going off to continue life and everything will be “okay” because you never know what the future holds. May our paths cross again…..
“The cover photo is one of mixed media. Taking Hy’s drawing and a photo from “home.” It’s a gesture to show her places we could go in the states or even when your not with me you will be in my heart”